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Safety Blueprint
Holistic Healing Horizons

The Safety Blueprint

Who. Where. When. How. Mapped step by step.

This is the most operational document in the workshop. The Cage Map showed you where you are. The Document Vault and Financial Checklist gave you the paperwork. This blueprint gives you the human plan: who is in your circle, where you are going, what you say, what you take, and exactly how the day unfolds. Print it. Hide it. Update it. It is yours.

Five quick questions

Your answers personalise this blueprint — surfacing only the sections that apply to your situation, and pulling in the right hotlines for your jurisdiction.

Nothing you click here is sent anywhere. Your answers stay inside this page on your device. We do not record, store or transmit them. The full blueprint that follows is the same, and your progress is saved automatically on this device so you can return any time.

So we can show you the right hotlines, shelters and protective-order pathways. We do not collect your address or location.

Please answer all five questions to personalise your blueprint.
Your Blueprint
0 of 0 packed

Read this before you write a single name

Everything you type into this blueprint stays inside this page on your device. Nothing is sent to a server. Nothing is saved online. When you download the PDF, it lives only where you choose to keep it, so where you store it matters. Treat this document the way a domestic violence advocate would: assume the worst-case reader, protect accordingly.

Where to keep this PDF
  • A USB stick only you handle, kept with a trusted friend
  • A brand-new email account they have never seen, on a device they do not use
  • Printed and physically hidden outside the home (friend's house, locker, vehicle)
  • An encrypted notes app behind a separate passcode (Signal Notes, Standard Notes)
Where it must not go
  • Shared iCloud, Google Drive, Dropbox or any synced family folder
  • Any email account they have ever logged into or know exists
  • The home computer, family tablet, or shared phone
  • Printed and left in the home until you have a tested hiding place

Your personalised blueprint is ready

Your Safe Circle

Three tiers. Inner Circle is who you call at 2am with no explanation. Resource Circle is who can give you money, a bed, a ride, a phone. Professional Circle is who has authority to act on your behalf. Fill what you have. Build what is missing before you leave.

These names and phone numbers stay on your device only. They are saved on this device and written into the PDF you download, never sent to us or anyone else. Skip any field if you would rather not write it down here.
Inner Circle — they will help, no questions asked
3 people who would drop everything for you. They do not have to know the full story yet — just that you may need them.
Resource Circle — they have something you need
Money, a spare room, transportation, childcare, internet, a phone you can use. They do not have to be your closest people — they have to be reliable.
Professional Circle — they have authority
DV advocate, lawyer or legal aid contact, your GP / doctor, therapist, a trusted police officer, social worker, employer's HR contact. They cannot help if they do not know.

"I am not alone. I never was. I have just been kept from my people."

Where You Are Going

A primary destination and two backups. Choose places that are safe, easy to reach, and not the first ones they would think of. Backup 2 is always a domestic violence shelter — their addresses are confidential and they exist for exactly this kind of moment.

Addresses you enter here never leave your browser. They are written into your PDF on download and saved only on this device. If you have any concern that this device is monitored, you can write addresses with initials only (e.g. "S's house, [city]") and keep the full address only in your head.
Primary destination — where you go on Day Zero
Backup 1 — if Primary falls through
Backup 2 — DV shelter (always have one ready)

How to find a confidential shelter: Call your country's DV hotline (in the Emergency Card below) and they will route you to a verified shelter near you. They will not ask invasive questions. Shelters are address-confidential by law in most countries.

Code Words & Safe Phrases

Pre-arrange these with at least one person from your Inner Circle. You text or say one short phrase. They know exactly what to do. No explanation needed — and no chance of the abuser understanding what is happening if they see your phone.

Choose phrases that look completely ordinary in your conversations. A code word is only safe if it would never raise suspicion. These stay on your device and in your PDF, and the strongest protection is choosing phrases that blend into normal life.
"Call the police now" — used when you cannot speak freely and you need help to reach you immediately.
"Come pick me up immediately" — when you need to leave and you need a ride right now.
"Send help to address X" — when you cannot leave but need someone to come.
"I am safe, do not contact me" — once you have left, to confirm you are okay without revealing where.
Public Safety Phrases (use anywhere in the world)
"Ask for Angela" — say this at any bar, pub or licensed venue in the UK, US, Canada, Australia, Argentina, NZ, and many EU countries. Staff are trained to discreetly help you call a taxi, contact someone, or get you out safely. Started in Lincolnshire UK in 2016.
"Ask for ANI" (Action Needed Immediately) — at any participating UK pharmacy. Staff will take you to a private space and call police or DV services. Look for the ANI window sticker.
"Angel Shot" — at participating bars in the US: "Neat" = walk me to my car, "With ice" = call me a taxi, "With lime" = call the police.
"Signal for Help" — the silent video signal: hold up your hand, tuck your thumb, close fingers over it. Recognised globally.
Your Go Bag

A small, nondescript bag — not a suitcase. Hidden somewhere accessible but not in your home. The goal: if you have 60 seconds to leave, you grab this bag and walk out with everything you absolutely need.

This is the most sensitive single line in your blueprint. If you write the hiding spot down here, write it as a clue only you would understand (e.g. "where Dad keeps his fishing gear"). Better still — keep this one field empty and hold the location only in your memory.

"I am not packing for a trip. I am packing for a beginning."

Day Zero Timeline

The hour-by-hour map of leaving day. This is not a script you have to follow — it is a template so nothing important gets forgotten in the adrenaline of the moment.

Emergency Contacts Card

A printable card with the only numbers you need in a crisis. Take a photo of this card and save it as your phone wallpaper. Print it small. Hide one in your wallet.

First 72 Hours After You Leave

The first three days after leaving ask for the most care. These steps protect everything you have built — and quietly close the doors a narcissist will try to push back through.

Do
  • Apply for an emergency protective order within 24 hours
  • Document every contact attempt they make (texts, calls, visits, third-party messages)
  • Tell your children's school and doctor where you are now and who is allowed pickup
  • Change passwords on every account from a clean device
  • Remove location sharing from all apps and social media
  • If returning for belongings, take a police escort — never go alone
  • Keep your phone charged and on you at all times
  • Stay close to your Inner Circle — don't isolate yourself
Don't
  • Don't post anything on social media — even private accounts
  • Don't tell mutual friends where you are — many will inadvertently leak
  • Don't return alone for "just one more thing" — schedule a police escort
  • Don't engage with apologies, threats, or "let me explain" messages
  • Don't let your children speak privately with the abuser yet — even if requested
  • Don't underestimate how creative they will be in trying to find you
  • Don't post photos with location data, even in private group chats
  • Don't hide your physical signs of distress from your support people

"I have done the hard part. Now I protect what I have built."

Tech Lockdown — Last 60 Minutes

Phones, accounts and shared devices are common quiet entry points for control. These steps take 30–60 minutes and close them off — best done shortly before you leave, ideally from a device they have never had access to.

Take this work further

You've built the blueprint. Three more places to take this from here...

The Document Vault The Financial Checklist Word Scripts The Cage Map Device Safety Guide Voices vs Truth Resource Directory

Continue inside Thrive

The deeper, ongoing work — the Trauma Bond Workshop, monthly live group sessions with Danish, 20+ AI companions for every part of recovery, and a community of survivors at every stage of leaving.

If you're already in Thrive, this is where you keep going. If you're not yet, you can join today — backed by a 7-day money-back guarantee.

Join Thrive →

Want a steady voice to walk the next steps with you?

Continue with Your Escape Guide. It helps you move through this plan one calm step at a time.

Disclaimer: This worksheet offers general guidance and educational support. It is not a substitute for legal, medical, financial or professional advice. If you feel you are in danger right now, please reach out to a trained domestic violence specialist, a crisis hotline or local emergency services — they are equipped to walk through the next steps with you. Holistic Healing Horizons accepts no liability for actions taken or not taken based on the content of this worksheet.

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